January at the Movies

Monday, January 31, 2005

It's been a rather disappointing month at the movies, but then again I can't recall the last time January stood out as a worthy time to go to the theather. So here it is folks, the current Top 10 of 2005. Obviously it's a short list. Click on the link for full review.

1. Assault on Precinct 13 B
How surprised I was to walk out of the theater having enjoyed this fun thriller about a small crew of correctional officers requiring the assistance of the three inmates to fight off corrupt cops out to kill everyone inside the jail.

2. Coach Carter B
Not the first inspirational sports movie and certainly not the best, Samuel L. Jackson pumps fresh life into the tired genre as a basketball coach in an inner city California school who puts grades before games. When the students don't perform in the classroom, he locks the gym and cancels games despite mob protest by the community. Based on a true story.


3. Hide and Seek C-
A severely disappointing and predictable plot-twist at the end kills all the momentum the amazing 11-year-old Dakota Fanning was able to muster in this inept thriller co-starring Robert DeNiro as a father trying to get his daughter to move past the tragic suicide of her mother. Situations get sticky when a mysterious "friend" named Charlie shows up to play a game that turns deadly. Sit this one out.

4. White Noise C-
An equally disappointing thriller that's all snores and no scares. Michael Keaton plays an architect who just lost his wife to a tragic car crash. Soon after he begins to receive messages from the other side; some from his wife and others from more hostile entities. No fun here.

5. Elektra D+
In my review I describe the "Daredevil" sequel as a "gyno-triangle feminist fantasy" where sexy women in even sexier outfits fight in the same arena as men. Insert formulaic story and overacting into a plot with generic superheroes/villains and you’ve got "Elektra." How sad the best feature of "Daredevil" gets an entire movie of her own which turns out to be infinitely worse.

6. Alone in the Dark D-
Two words is all you have to know about this film: Uwe Boll. Few people saw his atrocious 2003 film, "House of the Dead" - I doubt half has many will attempt to get through another game-to-movie adaptation by Mr. Boll. Perhaps I hack up Tara Reid too much in my review, but it was a lot of fun saying her wardrobe malfunction at P. Diddy's party -- unbeknownst to the drunken party girl – was a better performance by Ms. Reid than her portrayal as a "smart" anthropologist. Take a drink every time she mangles a four-syllable world.

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